Metaphorically Speaking

... this is me right now. Interpret as you will.

Find of the Day

... or you could take up praying. Just a thought.

Did You Watch General Conference?

Last weekend was a semi anual session of General Conference for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Did you watch? If not, you can watch or read conference talks at lds.org/conference

I especially liked President Monson's comments on humility and gratitude. I think the world really needed this message right now. I can feel- even in the phone calls I take at work- that the world is forgetting to be grateful to one another for small acts of kindness. It doesn't seem tobe the priority of many people to be polite and good natured. This is the most base form of courtesy and peacemaking that we need more of. A lack of humility inevitable creates a surplus of pride, which is the ultimate downfall of man. You do the math.

The challenge I have taken up is to be more thankful. Even in my head- which I have to admit is something I need to work on. I am one of those people whose mind is ridiculously unfiltered: I lit my brain run riot! Judging left right and center despite my mouth not betraying me. I have decided that turning my thoughts in a more positive angle will help me to be more positive- and all together more humble.

Al Qaeda Attacks Possible In Europe

CNN reports that countries within Europe are on alert. Citizens have been warned about travelling throughout Europe as terrorist attacks are a possibility in major cities. The most substantial warning was that of French officials warning their citizens to steer clear of the UK.

Pushing my education aside, and the economical and social explanations that come with such an education, I have to admit that this sort of news makes me sick. I suppose at the core, I just don't understand how any human being can justify the deliberate destruction of other humans. How is this even a capability of human reasoning? It strikes me that this is a sign of a huge lack of humility. How does one reach the point where they believe that their logical opinion and power is superior to that of another's?

Glee Not So Gleeful

I have been known to sing this shows praises: mostly because I can actually see just how hard the cast and crew work on each episode. the quality of its production is absolutely stellar. For the most part, song choice and the actual script are remarkably polished. It is entertaining, it is hilarious, it is creatively inspirational. So note my disappointment when I declare that last nights "Grilled Cheesus" episode was, well, disappointing. For those of you who did not tune in, the episode centered around the question of whether or not to value faith and religion. Though one or two characters put in a plug for religious worth, the overall tone of the episode was sacreligious and quite frankly hopeless. It seemed the message was that religion is a foolish endeavor and ultimately relates more to superstition than logic. Whereas I believe the writers are certainly within their right to produce such a storyline, I can't help but feel like this was a thoughtless move. Putting my own religious preferences aside, it is an undisputed fact that The Bible has beed the number one best seller publication every week since the beginning of publishing history, and continues to be so today. The number of atheists in the United States is a teaspoon compared to the quart of the population! Do we really need to eliminate the thought of something greater than this existence? The whole episode seemed unneccesary and unwise from a marketing standpoint.

Walk, Walk, Fashion, Baby!

Just thought you'd all like to see what constitutes couture these days.

Ecltectic Thoughts of Autumn

Some random things I have been thinking, which I happened to take the time to write down yesterday afternoon as I waited for the rain to ease up enough that I could vacate the building and go home. First, Lady Gaga. Let it be known that there are very few of her practices that I admire. Despite this, Haili threw a Gaga party to which I came dressed as the following:

Scary, no? We actually ended up crashing a huge party that was going on in Provo. Yes, the strange gaga-esque group of girls amongst the other 600 normal-looking people included me. Though I was absolutely petrified to totter through the crowds in ridiculously, well, ridiculous shoes, I have to say that it was the most liberating experience of my life! There's something wonderful about feeling very anonymous despite hundreds of glances and the same repeated reaction of shock. About 50 people came and told me I was their hero, to which I replied, "naturally," and a great number of people insisted upon taking our photograph. wonderful.

Next random thought: It appears that 90% of my brain is made up of procrastination components. Why? What happened? Do I qualify as athe expert procrastinator yet- and could this, in any anthropologically cultural setting, be conceived as a "good" thing? Despite my efforts to be ultra organized this semester, there's only so much a Moleskin can do for me.

Which brings me to my Moleskin. HOW I ADORE THEE. There is something innately prestigious about whipping out a Molesking in the middle of class. I quite enjoy the idea that perhaps everyone is guessing that I am ultra sophisticated in the organization department. Honestly, it's probably the most ridiculously expensive act of brand-conformity of my life. To this truth, I say: "sue me. I love my leather bound paper friend." Emerson is amongst the many who swore allegiance to the Moleskin. That makes it okay, right? Moleskin, welcome to the family. Next query of the semester: How is it that my memory is this terrible? If i had the time/ patience/ really cared I would find out the scientific reasons as to why my brain cannot handle things that I would like to remember. I suppose I just want to complain at the fact that my iTunes play count of "The Only Exception" (Paramore) is almost at 100, yet the only thing I have memorized is the chorus ("You are the only exception" x4)

Next, TV. WHY is it that good tv season happens to fall on back-to-school season?? This is unacceptable! Why can't it all happen during the summer, when I have nothing better to do with myself than watch countless hours of medical drama, musical comedy and such?

The Jesse Knight Building, where I happen to spend most of my school life these days. What architectural sense does this building make? It is inconsistent, maze-like and inconvenient.

Next thought of the day: I realized, as I was taking my seat in the Physical Science lecture hall, that I had double booked science with another appointment- how tragic for science, because as you all know, pretty much ANYTHING takes precedence over physics in my eyes. So I quickly slipped out of the hall and rushed out into the rain. While making my great escape I suddenly felt like one of those men who get fired and are so embarrassed that they don't tell their wives and instead, they get dressed up every day and "head off to work" when really they wander around aimlessly all day.

Next, Why would I wear a rain coat to school, but still be wearing open toed shoes?

Also, why don't I own Wellies or an umbrella? As for a note on this beautiful Fall season: Utah is handling it very well: the colours are beginning to change beautifully, and God saw fit to remind me of Home with plenty of rain. I love my life.

Self Reliance

That voice in my interior, which I believe, and for the sake of which I believe all else that I believe, commands me not merely to act in general. That is impossible . . . This voice of my conscience prescribes to me with certainty, in each particular situation of my existence, what I must do and what I must avoid in that situation. It accompanies me, if I will but listen to it with attention, through all the events of my life, and never refuses its reward where I am called to act. It establishes immediate conviction.

man is not a product of the world of sense; and the end of his existence can never be attained in that world. His destination lies beyond time and space and all that pertains to sense. He must know what he is and what he is to make himself. As his destination is sublime, so his thought must be able to lift itself up above all the bounds of sense. This must be his calling.

-- Fichte, from "The Destination of Man"

This week I have been reading a lot of Emerson, Fichte, and Kant. The primary focus of my reading was the idea of "self-reliance". Emerson describes the natural tendency of man to glide on the ambitions, thought and passions of others as "suicide". How intensely do you consider our own personal philosophy and progression? Do you invest time in developing intellectual freedom? Do you consider your beliefs- the things you know to be absolute truths- to be a part of who you are? To what end would you go to defend these truths?

One of the things that sincerely irritates me is hearing of someone who removes themselves from their daily life, their responsibilities and calling, in order to "find themselves". I think the idea is preposterous! You know the people: the ones who call emergency vacations in order to collect themselves. I silently beg them to be truthful, and admit that they are vacationing "in order to get some thoughtless R&R!"- there's no shame in THAT, because it's truthful! The moments in which one truly "finds" ones self are the moments in which one is immersed in the day to day happenings of life. Opportunities to react to every day situations are too valuable to avoid: THAT is "suicide"!

So, reader. Devote yourself to the progression of your own character: your "truths", your philosophy, your passions; and be mindful of how you present your "self". Self-reliance is one of the most valuable pursuits of this lifetime.

Dare You Not to Smile!

I WANT ONE

I want one of these! It is a scanner pen- it picks up on a colour you see and lets you DRAW IN THAT COLOUR. Holy ridiculous! It is days like this when I stand, hand on heart, and salute the sky: I heart technology, thank you for allowing me to live to see this!

Word of the Day

CRYPTOMNESIA- occurs when a forgotten memory returns without its being recognized as such by the subject, who believes it is something new or original. It is a memeory bias whereby a person may falsely recall generating a thought, idea, song or joke, not deliberately engaging in plagerism but rather experiencing a memory as though it werea new inspiration.

Thanks to wikipedia for this excellent insight to something my mother seems to suffer from an awful lot. (I did NOT steal your tweasers)

Tips for Single Ladies

It seems to be blaringly obvious that Provo is no place for the single female undergrad senior- unless of course she doesn't mind the constant reminder that she has hit the expiration date for "the bubble." This week 2 of my favourite friends thought they would surprise me with the most hilarious self help guide for women: "How to Get Along With Boys," not surprisingly, written most seriously in the 1940s. Whereas I love them for it and it will keep me delightfully amused for the next few days, I began to wonder what was going on when a couple of other links and pieces of advice came flooding in from other members of the (mostly married) office. Apparently I have been painted the tragic Bridget-Jones of the office. Thank heavens I have a semi decent head on my shoulders, because rather than sob about it (i heart singledom), here is my favourite link of wisdom, brought to you from the past:

Watch This

It is ridiculous how funny I fund this. Do YOU know what it means??

Watermelon - Summer's Prettiest Fruit

Watermelon - Summer's Prettiest Fruit

Moment of the Month

Kaley and I went to JCPenney's this week. The circumstances of the week begged the occassion. On Monday I went to a natural Hot Springs in the mountains in Heber, near Park City. Knowing me, the event was filled with disaster, and I slipped and fell into the scalding water, cutting open a toe and scratching my wrist. So, limping and looking quite frankly like an emo cutter on Tuesday, my day was already off to a bad start. It only got worse when I had a tiny texting-tiff with one of my favourite friends (yes, I'm still annoyed with you, Kip). Cue Kaley: "I LOVE jcpenney." Enough said. I hadn't been to Penney's in about 3 years. I was game.

My father would point out that it is the mark of a Shopoholic when one turns to retail therapy to feel better/ get a rush/ think deep thoughts/ relax. I am currently looking into a support group.

Anyway kaley and I had a blast, trying on different things, prancing around in the business section in fancy suits and skirts.

Cheesecake for Breakfast...

... Bad choice.

Currently Reading...

Eats, Shoots and Leaves

By Lynne Truss

A ridiculously funny commentary on punctuation and its misuse. Will review when finished.

To The Girls

This happened in Provo this week. Girls, please be so careful when you are by yourself- even in broad daylight, even in the quietest of towns.

http://www.deseretnews.com/mobile/article/700039364/Provo-police-looking-for-attacker.html

Mulling and its Outcomes

True to my word, you find me slumped in a corner of my room ("my room" being the room my parents call "Hollie's Room," which is, while I am not with her, my mother's long awaited secret place where she stores her shoes, nick nacks and other momish things. All of which she hides in OTHER secret places before I get here, lest I steal things I like).

Thought processing ADD: When I bought my mac-a-lac, it was supposed that, on a full tank of battery power, I might have 8 hours of battery life. How, then, can it have been on charge all day and now read 2.38 hours of battery left? Y0u may now picture me in the corner of my room, wedged between my bed and radiator, shaking my fist. I actually did it so that you wouldn't be mind-lying.

Attention regrouped. Song on repeat.

Germany is just as I left it in December: only instead of snow, I have seen a little rain and mostly beautiful blue skies. Anyone who knows me will know that I despise grey skies that do not release rain (why? what is the point of a heavy looming sky that just sits there, not raining?), and adore cloudless, perfectly blue skies. When people consider their favourite season, I always take the time to mull over different seasons and my deeper appreciation for each one: spring time, and its symbolism to life beginning and blossoming; fall and it's beautiful color and recognition of change and age; winter and the miracle of snow fall and yuletide bliss. But no! Sign me up for summer with endless nights, popsicles, tan lines and sticky attire! Forget symbolism and take me as I am!

I promised myself I would think seriously about my future- what I am doing with my life- while I was here. But when I actually got here, and beginning to think about it put me into cold sweats in the first thirty seconds, I thought- really quite simply- "no." I know you expect more from me. Anyone reading from my high school years might be astounded by that confession. To them I say "People Change": another simple and un-satisfying explanation, I'm sure.

Back to blogging (which, I am sure you can tell by now, has no real thesis). One thing I am feeling rather upset about at this point in time is my lack of blogging lately. Cliche (as outlined in the previous post) I know, but as my blog-lacking aunt Jules can attest to, it has rather spoiled my already diminishing sense of organization. Especially so, as I try to convince myself that writing a journal is unnecessary if I blog. My recently returned missionary brother declared that blogging, he thought was a crude and public excuse of exhibition. I did not bother explaining how a lot of employers now ask for any blog addresses. That's my only real excuse with merit. Not that entertaining you blans (or bleaders- blog/ readers. get it?) isn't reason enough for writing.

Moving on (finally, I hear you say): some things I have been pondering lately (besides my mac and its diminishing battery power, my not- pondering future, my blogging and my selfish symbolic-less favouritism of Summer).

a) Gilmore Girls. It took 10 years, but finally they have my undivided attention due to excellent, witty writing, and flawlessly flawed characters (that makes sense, in my mind at least).

b) Double beds and why I cannot for the life of me commit to staying in the middle. Why is that? Logically one would surely bask in the space and enjoy taking up the whole thing. Perhaps it is a subtle way of the universe telling me that I am just not selfish enough to take what I do not need. I just know if my girlfriends and I were having this conversation they would come up with an ulterior conclusion, which I do not wish to embellish.

c) My new running shoes, and how my fear of dirtying them is holding me back from actually using them for working out. Also the anticipated conclusion that working out in flip flops or driving mocs has results that I do not care for.

That said, consider me sorry for not offloading this codswallop on you sooner. Stay tuned!

Discovery: Angus and Julia Stone

The audacity of leaving you all anecdote-less for a while and then attempting to remedy that with a youtube video of a new musical couple I have been impressed by. Rest assured that the situation is under consideration- the situation being my blogging absence. Also, rest assured that you may still actually appreciate my outlook on the world when I admit that I despise people who blog that they have not blogged "in fooorreeevvveerrr"- it is quite seriously one of the most annoying things I come across, and yet find myself doing quite often. Therefore, accept my apologies and please DO enjoy this song, which I have spent the last couple of days in delight over. It is one of those "alone time" songs that leave you sitting in the corner of your room, staring- not blinking- at nothing in particular, mulling over life. Which, in my opinion, is something one out to do often. My reasons are none in particular... though I commit to pondering over some potential reasons and getting back to you. Now that you are confused by my awkward expression of thought, hit play already.